If you can dream.

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Re: If you can dream.

Post by Hdeuce on Thu Feb 18, 2010 7:33 am

Buddha wouldnt go to jail.







He would go to federal, pound me in the ass, prison.

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Re: If you can dream.

Post by CriminalAnarchist on Thu Feb 18, 2010 7:44 am

o_o ew

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Re: If you can dream.

Post by Proditor on Thu Feb 18, 2010 8:09 am

I have a recurring fantasy of massacring hundreds of people and sodomizing the corpses of women.
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Re: If you can dream.

Post by CriminalAnarchist on Thu Feb 18, 2010 9:17 am

hahahaha necrophilia??

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Re: If you can dream.

Post by duracell bunny on Thu Feb 18, 2010 10:31 am

Proditor wrote:I have a recurring fantasy of massacring hundreds of people and sodomizing the corpses of women.

just no.











yay im not as evil as i thought i was
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Re: If you can dream.

Post by CriminalAnarchist on Sun Feb 21, 2010 6:21 am

alright here's a hypothetical for you guys.

Let's say you are in a bank you have 23 potential hostages/heros
-11 clients
-5 tellers
-2 security guards
-1 manager
-4 desk jockies
what is the best way to get in and out of the bank with no one/few people harmed and with out getting caught?

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Re: If you can dream.

Post by Hdeuce on Sun Feb 21, 2010 7:24 am

CriminalAnarchist wrote:alright here's a hypothetical for you guys.

Let's say you are in a bank you have 23 potential hostages/heros
-11 clients
-5 tellers
-2 security guards
-1 manager
-4 desk jockies
what is the best way to get in and out of the bank with no one/few people harmed and with out getting caught?
Through the front door Very Happy

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Re: If you can dream.

Post by CriminalAnarchist on Sun Feb 21, 2010 7:38 am

but what's stopping the tellers from pressing silent alarms or the secuirty guards from blasting your ass

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Re: If you can dream.

Post by Hdeuce on Sun Feb 21, 2010 7:41 am

The fact that im not robbing them?

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Re: If you can dream.

Post by CriminalAnarchist on Sun Feb 21, 2010 7:50 am

yeah...theres "heros" out there

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Re: If you can dream.

Post by Hdeuce on Sun Feb 21, 2010 8:09 am

key to the whole scenario is to walk over to the side counter first and talk to someone who is filling out a deposit slip you explain to that person that you have a gun and instruct them to right on a slip of paper that they want all the banks money, and if you here ANY police sirens you will start shooting everyone in the bank. NOW the secuirty guards think the person who hands the cashier the note is the bad guy, which distracts them from you. The cashiers may or may not hit the silent alarm for fear that the police sirens will spurr a shooting spree, after the cashier hand the wrong guy the bags you take them, and leave through an alternate exit preferable a side window (usually banks have large picture windows that go from floor to ceiling bust out the window leave , run about a block and a half around the corner to the next block, where you have a taxi waiting that was called ahead and has no clue what just happened. Have that taxi drop you at the airport, where you fly back home, bevcause any smart criminal knows to commit big jobs out of town.

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Re: If you can dream.

Post by Proditor on Mon Feb 22, 2010 2:05 am

This has to be a large bank with separate rooms for appointments. Walk into the bank, have a backpack on, a (silenced?) pistol in your belt, and a knife in your pocket. Make an appointment to open an account, have an employee walk you into a small office. Now you are in a room, and either nobody can see you or hear you, or both which is a bonus. Pull out the pistol and knife showing both, emphasis on the knife, and order everybody in the room to remain calm in a low voice. Tell them if they don't then you will shoot them in the arm, then dig your fingers into the bullet wounds and write on the walls in their blood. Make sure to thoroughly describe the process so they have a good mental image. Assuming that the only people in the room are employees of no worth to you, get close, and slit their throats below the vocal chords, tipping the bodies upside down so as to not get blood on their clothes. Kill all in the room silently. If they alert others of your presence proceed to pull out your pistol and kill the guards first, going into the comic "This is a stickup plan" and committing suicide via cop. If you have successfully pulled this off this far then you should be alone in a room, with dead around you, inconspicuous. Okay, now the fun part, undress the dead and put on their clothing as best as you can, now you too are a bank employee. Oh, and take the money out of their wallets. Leave your backpack in the room, bring the knife and pistol with you. Walk to the next small office, or room with one person in it, and ask to speak to them about something. Act like they should know you and say that you work at the bank or that you have an appointment with them, at the very least act stubborn. When they comment on that, tell them to call the manager so as to sort things out. If they do not, force them to call security. In the time before the manager/security gets there kill the man/woman in the room and hide the body appropriately. Kill the manager/security when they come. If you've killed a guard, put on their uniform. Walk to the Desk Jockies and ask to see two of them in a private office, as it is urgent and the manager wishes to see them. For added awesome, lead them into the room where you have propped up the dead manager on a seat. You know what to do. Walk back out and close the two counters the dead jockies were at, and if anybody asks why, tell them to go see the manager and ask them, if they comment on you, tell them you're there for the day from a different branch on the managers request. Follow them to the managers office and find some time to kill 'em. At this point you have eliminated enough people for the bank to stop functioning properly. get your money, then trip the silent alarm. Put the money in the back pack, leave the bank, use Deuces exit plan.

Alternatively, if you get in a bind say that you have a bomb in the backpack, or don't rob a bank because it's hard enough as it is. If you're going to try and steal a lot of money just join the governme- mug old ladie- rig the lottery and then disappear.
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Re: If you can dream.

Post by CriminalAnarchist on Mon Feb 22, 2010 8:09 pm

@Deucey breaking a window can call a lot of attention to bystanders or cops outside the bank. but the exit plan is good

@Proditor fuck you damn killed everybody!

and yes never rob a bank. this is a hypothetical crime, not a blueprint for stupidity.

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Re: If you can dream.

Post by Buddha on Mon Feb 22, 2010 10:42 pm

I don't like the plane idea. Say someone see's you come from the bank and get in a cab. They're gonna question all the cab drivers. They'll figure out you're on the plane while you're still in the air. You'll never make it out of your destination airport.

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Re: If you can dream.

Post by Cat Soup on Mon Feb 22, 2010 11:30 pm

You could take a cab to a bus station then walk to the airport, the cops would be looking for you at the bus stops, but you could be in Zimbabwe or some crazy shit.

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Re: If you can dream.

Post by Buddha on Mon Feb 22, 2010 11:48 pm

i'm thinking escape by dogsled or submarine.

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Re: If you can dream.

Post by Cat Soup on Tue Feb 23, 2010 12:20 am

Invent a new mode of transportation, then take it somewhere. Nobody will know what is going on.

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Re: If you can dream.

Post by Hdeuce on Tue Feb 23, 2010 12:54 am

Buddha wrote:I don't like the plane idea. Say someone see's you come from the bank and get in a cab. They're gonna question all the cab drivers. They'll figure out you're on the plane while you're still in the air. You'll never make it out of your destination airport.

They cant stop all air traffic just because a taxi dropped someone who fit the description of the guy who robbed a bank at an airport.

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Re: If you can dream.

Post by Proditor on Tue Feb 23, 2010 2:00 am

Well, they could try, but that wouldn't go over well at all. One bank isn't a matter of national security.

Killing everybody is essential to the plan. If any survive, they all know what you look like, and could potentially give your description. Customers are ten times more likely to forget their cashiers face than the cashier is to the customer. And as for the knife thing? A person is 3 times more willing to follow orders if they see a blade as opposed to a gun, but if you do not show the pistol one will most likely try to be a hero. Gotta let 'em know that they can't fuck with you. Are you more likely to rush the guy with the gun, or the guy with the gun, and the knife, who's talking about pushing his fingers into your bullet holes?
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Re: If you can dream.

Post by CriminalAnarchist on Tue Feb 23, 2010 2:43 am

Buddha wrote:i'm thinking escape by dogsled or submarine.

you sir are full of ridiculousness

Hdeuce wrote:
They cant stop all air traffic just because a taxi dropped someone who fit the description of the guy who robbed a bank at an airport.

this is true.

Proditor wrote:Well, they could try, but that wouldn't go over well at all. One bank isn't a matter of national security.

Killing everybody is essential to the plan. If any survive, they all know what you look like, and could potentially give your description. Customers are ten times more likely to forget their cashiers face than the cashier is to the customer. And as for the knife thing? A person is 3 times more willing to follow orders if they see a blade as opposed to a gun, but if you do not show the pistol one will most likely try to be a hero. Gotta let 'em know that they can't fuck with you. Are you more likely to rush the guy with the gun, or the guy with the gun, and the knife, who's talking about pushing his fingers into your bullet holes?

mask and baseball cap combo? i guess though if you do kill everyone it'll tie most of the police up looking for clues in the wreckage.

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Re: If you can dream.

Post by Proditor on Tue Feb 23, 2010 3:53 am

When the age of the fingerprint dawned on crime scene forensics gossip was immediately let out. So many people knew about it so quickly that within months, the CSI's were encountering scenes where the criminal had used gloves to mask his prints. This led some criminals the belief that a perfect plan existed in cutting off the tips of your fingers, or burning them, to rid themselves of their all-revealing prints. They were wrong. By self mutilation, they only drew more attention than usual to themselves, and many were caught, because it just goes to show, you probably have a pretty damn good reason to destroy your finger prints, and if the authorities want, they can match your dental records to a name and face, which in turn gives them your no-longer-existent fingerprints.

This is related to your baseball cap theory int he fact that if you go out of your way to remain inconspicuous, you may just end up being to noticeable. The best way to hide is in plain sight, along with everybody else that has fingerprints.

And besides, if you were to go in and try to protect your identity, that implies that you think somebody is going to see you and try to give your description, which also implies that your plan is a blatant one. No thanks, I'll stick to methodical operations, and hey, maybe I just like killing people.
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Re: If you can dream.

Post by CriminalAnarchist on Tue Feb 23, 2010 4:15 am

when i go to the bank i see people wearing hats all the time, i've seen a lot of cowboy hats for some reason so it's not too suspicious. especially if you take the hat off at some point with your face at an abstract angle of the cameras. i would probably say to rob a bank on a relatively cold/rainy day, there is less foot traffic and wearing a hat and gloves is expected.

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Re: If you can dream.

Post by Proditor on Tue Feb 23, 2010 4:19 am

I live in Canada. You'll be hard pressed to find a man with a hat in a bank here. Don't know why, but folks here just don't wear many hats.
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Re: If you can dream.

Post by CriminalAnarchist on Tue Feb 23, 2010 4:21 am

i live in california and everyone wears hats...and flip flops...i don't understand why, i dont wear either.

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Re: If you can dream.

Post by Proditor on Tue Feb 23, 2010 4:23 am

Good. I hate hats and flip flops. Way to fight the power.
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